You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
