It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
