I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
