jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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