Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize