i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
