Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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