It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
