sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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