He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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