Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
