please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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