I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
