she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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