I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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