I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
