And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
