to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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