Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
