this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
