I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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