so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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