eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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