Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
