there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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