2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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