you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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