I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
