Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
