There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
