Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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