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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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