We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Let's get the cat blown out
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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