I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize