Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
