My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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