yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
