i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize