i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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