yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
