after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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