first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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