I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
