he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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