i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize