if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
my poor anus
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize