it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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