Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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