Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
