well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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