im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize