Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
