Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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