I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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