all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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