im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
