i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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