i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
