i don't like sucking hair
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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