are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
