i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
MIDGETS
????
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
