john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.