I hate your face
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
