i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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