So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
