I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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