her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize