I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
