I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
