Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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